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I love when different parts of life intersect and provide meaning. This was one of those weeks.

Thursday was Halloween. It’s not my favorite day, not by a long shot, but I can get into the spirit of it and certainly enjoy watching my kids having fun. Thinking back, it’s neat to reflect on how my older two (ages 12 and 10) have matured through the years. I recall their early years of trick-or-treating, when each house was as exciting as the last and we spent as much time hunting in the grass for their dropped candy as we did knocking on doors. This year, my oldest went off their friends while my youngest (age 3) really experienced it for the first time.

Halloween strikes me as pivotal for a few reasons:

• First, and rather obviously, this may be where our kids first get trained in the art of accumulation. They dash about in a mad scramble to collect as much candy as possible before the night is through, all to marvel at the size of their pile at the end of the night. I’m not a big fan of this, and admittedly should do a better job of redirecting a portion of the pile to good causes (the less fortunate, the troops, etc.).
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  My youngest, with three of her Halloween-week costumes.

  Second, and everyone knows this, the night ends with the championship of negotiations as kids barter their way toward the perfect pile of candy.

• Third, the day removes a lot of social barriers and permits (nearly) unrestrained self-expression. What people choose to do with that freedom is up to them, and some embrace it wholeheartedly and others are less comfortable with it or even intimidated by it. My youngest, the three-year old, dressed up for Halloween four different times in four different costumes during the week, fully embracing that freedom. I like to see that creative expression; it is an echo of the you-can-be-whatever-you-want-to-be refrain that we preach in our house.
• Fourth, there is a social training aspect to the day. My youngest ultimately wanted to wear a costume that was too small for her. Rather than fret and try to force her to change, my wife and I went with the flow. Perhaps we’re more lenient than we used to be since she’s our fourth child, but I really think it’s a case of priorities. As long as she practiced her interpersonal skills at each door, speaking with confidence and using her best manners, it was less important to us what she wore. While she still needs some help with confidence and manners, I have confidence our emphasis will pay off. To wit, my ten-year-old son reported that he had been rewarded with extra candy at some houses during the night in recognition of his manners. I couldn’t ask for better positive reinforcement.

The next day, my wife Colleen attended the Pennsylvania Conference for Women, a sold-out event in Philadelphia with 7,000 attendees and speakers including Hillary Clinton, Madeleine Albright and Sallie Crawcheck. Though I didn’t attend, I did learn a lot about the conference through her enthusiastic feedback (and her Twitter stream, as she live-tweeted the event).

As someone who’s been taught not to align along racial or gender lines, I don’t respond to the gender-war aspect of the women’s networking movement. I understand it, though, and frankly I’m a fan of collective efforts to inspire, teach and motivate as long as they are positive in spirit and additive rather than zero sum. What really impresses me about the female entrepreneurial community I’ve glimpsed through my wife’s experience is the spirit of collaboration, positivism and determinism that the group shows. I think there’s a little rah-rah bluster, but it all seems to stir up a lot of intrinsic motivation (necessary to succeed) and there’s no question the natural networks that emerge pay dividends. As I think about my children (daughters and son alike), this is the discussion, the drive, the daring do-er that I want for them. Credit to Colleen for opening this window for them, teaching them that they can be whatever they want to be.

So how do these two events—Halloween and the PA Conference for Women—intersect to provide meaning? Having the imagination to dream big, to become what you want to be, to work together, to work hard and to have fun…these are all things that apply to little kids on Halloween and adults in our everyday personal development. Seeing my youngest daughter and my wife inspired by these lessons on back-to-back occasions was truly eye-opening.

What a great pair of days. My kids and my wife in their glory, doing what they love and growing as people. And when my family grows (intellectually and socially, that is…no more kids), so do I.